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Monday, April 27, 2009

skool daze....


the thought about my previous 2 years in skool, realli makes me wonder if that was me....slacking at the cafeteria, smoking corners, skipping lesson to go out or slack at the library, watching movie with unknown people at skool, having late lunches with classmates nt to go to class...woww...alot alot...and theres got to be more i've done...in the name of slack...hahah

sometimes i even skip lessons for my ex...most of the times...and i did get nearly debarred from my modules...what a life man...ijus wonder why i did a that...wasn't i a solid gem in secondary skool even though i was the weakest link in most subjects...shear determination, hard work and a lil luck brought me thru in the express stream, n sometimes my parents came in on time to save me from being demoted..somehow managed to get into poly and still surviving strong...

even the number of frens i hav is not much actually...about a lil more than 100 people..lolx....i've got almost anyone to say hi to everyday...and a handful to slack with...lol...and a few to study with..heheh...wel this is my simple life i used to live at skool...i'm changing my life slowly jus to work for that piece of diploma....its not easy to get one nowadays....skools demand loads students to be at their best at everything to earn a diploma and thats wat im working to..to best at everything i am confident to be best at...

but some people...never get this in their heads...they think life is a piece of chococlate cake...jus finish it and u'll be happy forever..NO!!...theres more than a cake to it....the cake needs iceing, fruits, biscuits, and a cold environment...same thing to life...we need a lil of everything and the cold environment to keep us from melting is our edu...no edu and we're jus melted cream....hahah...

Monday, April 20, 2009

holidays are out...skool's in !!!



it so seems indian dun like to go skool on the 1st day,
hahah
entering skool, all the stupid 1st yrs hogging themain gate and the smoking corner man!!can't even get a peaceful puff...lol!!
1st lesson.MAMS tutorial...looking at the time table, i jus couldn't be sure who my lecturer was...and wen i entered the class room,"BUTHUUUUUU!!!!"
my MEM lecturer...back as my MAMS tutor...and i jus slammed my head and said,,"walau, u again arh!!!'' the whole class started laughing...hahaha...
and he asked me how i actually did, and i told him tt i actually passed his subject by dumb luck...he jus said,"obviously, ur jus tossing coins during the exam", and i was like WTH!!!!hahah

BREAK!!!

walking around skool, finding for my band of brothers and dispicable sistas...girl called and said her fren was having break...n she wanted to meet me...and i said i was wit my fren's bro...n the god damn fren was like having her lunch and den oni meet me knw...i was like...here a man is starving n waiting for u but u makan and come...den we wen for cca display at the convention hall..ICS makal ask me to intro a few to join our society...wonder if they did...afta tt me n my fren's bro wen for lunch, end up the jackass left to bishan...jus as i was eating a grp of my old classmates saw me and asked if anyone was sitting wit me...i said no n the whold gang of chinese set wit me...for once i felt great tt i had chinese frens...in a few seconds everyone left to get makan, leaving 1 gal n me at the table...she was a gem man...i tell u...she nvr opens her mouth for anything knw...but her smile cute larh...and den randomly she asked me,"hw's skool?" n i said,"sux la" and her chuckle was so cute man...jus as i finish eating everyone came back...den oni my tamilan gang entered the canteen...haix...everytime i gt break, they gt lesson...den i jus left without saying bye to anyone...the girl actually stood up and said bye...and the rest were like waving to me as if i was going off forever...so nice of them...they were the oni class who actually helped me in my studies...

class time...go in for a stupid lecture and the jackass teacher was so gay...eeeekkkk...
and den afta tt lesson 1 by 1 met my skool mates...den girl said she wanted to meet me to pass sumthing...i din knw...den she was like at skool at 1...n she told she was leaving...1.30 i called again...she said she was held back and she was coming...i said dun come...she beg to come...i said ok...1.45 call again...den oni she take bus...2pm...my lesson start, she alight from the bus...she walk to me...said sowie...for the 1st time i actually blasted so badly at her...like come on man...1st day, 1st lecture for tt module n im late...now isn't tt nice...so upset, and she gave me $60...i was like...FISH!!!! other ppl wud love to hav so much moni, who ever the giver is...but i hate to take moni frm any1 even if it was a gift...i scolded her for it too...den walked wit her n her fren to the bustop...wen to class late...well the lecturer was late too...but i din do any work...well, the teacher said i was excused cos my 1st n last lessons were the same...and so...i jus sat arnd teaching a few guys how to do all the sums...

jus afta skool...met a few of indian frens..once again, another pweety gal who dun talk to me, actually said hi to me...talking to them awhile...planned to go out with the gang soon..hahah
and so yea..skool busstop, crowd...walk out...take bus...go home...end of 1st day...lolx

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

singing in the rain

my life feels so tough...i dunno if i shud jus giv up everything n stay alone, or fight for wat i must. i dun knw who is supporting me, who is backstabbing me, who strays in the shadows to play me out...the more i think, the more my mind gets confused. if only i could turn the clock back..i wish i had been my old self, a hard- working, studious, friendly, mummy's boy...too bad!!
i made the wrong choices and nw i'm put at a spot where i can't decide my own fate, everyone has a part to play in my life...my love life has been a total havoc, until recently, it jus changed, and nw i'm happy tt i can be my old self...a new support, she holds on to me even if i'm gonna fall into a longkang....tears for the pain i go thru, yearns for a true love...well...life goes on...





Sunday, March 29, 2009

realisation of the divine

jus as i was praying the other day with my uncle, i asked him many questions...
who is god??
why do we have so many gods???
wat do we get in praying to every single one??
if god is god, than y so many features??y not jus one figure??
all my uncle said was...
son, u hav alot to learn, i learnt it the hard way, i could teach you everything and answer all ur questions..but it would be much more fruitful wen u get the right answers on your own...
now, i've begun the quest to answer every question in my mind and heart...
if anyone is wiling to share..do send me comments to this entry and the other entries on this in future..
god is only 1 for everyone!!









Friday, March 27, 2009

some people really need to fall to learn their lessons

I'd been seeing loads of youths...studying for the sake of their parents' sake, not for a better future, especially our indian community. relationships have become a common site. frenship that has even lead to formation of secret societies are also obvious. why?? hav youths really become ignorant about education, since it has become such an easy and simplified form to digest to earn a diploma or degree, or is it just the youthful mind??

in my life of education, i've been very weak, from primary school till i got my o levels, my mother pushed me all the way, under her guidance i studied ery hard, sometimes i did let her down with failure, but still i got average results and survived thruout in express stream. but ever since i had started my diploma course, complacency had become part of me, taking everything easy failing test wasn't a big issue,but repeating modules were.leaving class to slack with frens, go out with my girl, all this had pulled me down. some of my frens, eve indians would as me, why can't you jus juggle your time after school or even weekends and put your full force during studying time??? well nw i understand, i hadn't been putting my concentration on my educaion cos there wasn't a strong will power in what i was doing. scared to make the nex move, afraid of who might leave me nex, especially my girl...but as time passed, i understood, when i stay strong, thats wen i will not be afraid who's here and who's not, thats wen i can successed, i knw there are a hand full of people right behind to suport me when i ain't strong, but if i keep myself strong, thats when they wil also think that i'm worthy to support them. i left my ex long time back, y? she had been pulling me down, she did not give me the strength to successed, she made me feel unsecure . but when i decided that i shud get over her n move towards my goal, i seriously worked, though, i did get another love, my bestie, a dream come true, y? true love would come from your family and a true fren, and she gave me that security, she gave me the comfort a gd fren would whole-heartedly give, she gave the strength a wife would give her husband, yet she herself had been also doing the same as wat i did during my skool times, obviously everyone would, but, even after i say about what i have gone thru, i expect her, well, everyone to learn a lesson from it....it may be a small thing, but it sure helps alot...

a few instances, she had gone out to meet her frens, i'm not saying its wrong , but, when you can spend it wisely on your exam prep or jus simple revision, y go out??? especially during the pre-exam period??? i did, and i suffered, much worst results...i dun expect anyone else to become like me...

medicine may taste bitter, but the outcome is always sweet,
working hard like ants thruout summer, auttum and spring will build the strongest shelter during winter..
this is wat i have learn wen i fell, dun fall, learn from the mistakes of others..
everything here is for good, dun take it wrongly,
=)











Wednesday, March 25, 2009

lets role! vroom vroom..or more like cycles..hehe

tdy was a day seriously i had never expected to be this tired...
a very mind blowing experience afta a long time...
mrng...met my close fren, we went to east coast...well m plan was jus to check on the prices to book bicycles for nite cycling, and so we wen to the 1st store...den my fren suggested we shud rent a bike for easy accessibility...andso we took a doubles...we went up to 4 stores to check the price..and well...we were jus cycling around...and den....i was jus thinking...shall we track the route for my event....we took of our shirts off and started cycling from east coast to our 1st destination..changi...well it was a long route..cycling pass a buncha white hot chics...hehe(someone's turning red, kekex) and den a lon straight road...about 3km i guess..and den behind the airport...watching planes fly above us...and den a garden area..well it looked like a deserted path(best place to bring a girl to have a romantic private night,heheh)....passing SAF ferry terminal...haha...and den we reach changi....and one lady asked us i a loud tone."mana baju"...and i said "thada machik"...hahah and den at one point we got stuck at changi village..we did a trial and error...passed ramar temple...pass changi airbase...pass loyang sithi vinayagar temple and reached pasir ris...wat a relief...getting close to our end point..pass sun plaza park and den we reach a point of total tiredness..both of drinks had finished.. we passed TP...well the reason to jus show off our hot bods..hahaha too bad din hav one...and den we changed our route thru bedok park connector...our end was almost nearing....we passed this primary skool....so cute the kids ..but wen they saw us, they were like...OH MY MUMMY!!!...one girl went....eeeee, naked man!!!!
hahaha
so cute know...and den detours after detours, passing NEWater plant and a long stretch 4 kmm long...passing another camp....i 4got what place it was...and den finally..underpass!!
yay!!
into east coast, past outward bound, all the way to coastal bicycle rental...we were totally shagged like wet dogs..haha..the shop owner look at us like we were terrorists....lol asked us to pay $10 more and den we jus left..damn fun la the route....passing by people and randomly saying hello! some were jammed, some smiled, some even replied..hahaha
well i'm ready for another round..cos i'm actually organising a night cycling event...hope to get as much as 30 fit people to bring alone..yay!!!
approximately 40 km in 5hr 35mins....yea....
smilessszzz!!!



Sunday, March 22, 2009

humiliation


today i had nvr felt busier den ever...morning i got up at 5.30...got ready and left with my dad n my sis to tample...it was my uncle's wedding..and well...i felt that it was gonna be the most hactic daY EVER!!... dots to dots..

talking to my cousins n my frens...meeting all my relatives who didn't even rmbr tt it was me...yea...it was feeling like MY DAY...

wedding over...back hm...the bride and groom came home with their families...i jus left cos i was supposed to tie statue for chariot prayers near my place..with my bro's help, i managed to do it with all the best i can..

done and over at the tentage...my uncle n his boss were making thoranam and well...me n my bro were to collect some things from my dad's store and....dots to dots...deco doing in the process...familiy enters...frens enter and leave...

and this new guy, karthik who was my uncle's new fren was introducing himself to me...i felt he was a lil gayish but he was very nice towards me....and well he even said he wanted to meet up wit me...welll to help me in my drawing business and well i said ok as we stayed in opposite blocks, not knwing each other for very long...

dots to dots...deco almost done...my uncle was looking at my statue..and well he had his comments but i wasn't arnd to hear it...i did my own work cos it was getting late...and den he asked a question...

wat flower did u order for the statue???

for a sec i was jammed cos i totally forgot afta hactic weeks of work... n i said i nvr order, no moni...

and suddenly... a slipper jus flew but missed me and everyone was laughing at me...like wtf!!!

jus for not ordering i get humiliated...and for peet's sake, all the fundings were collected by me this yr...up n dwn blocks....food also i decided wat to put for people....performance on another side giving problem even though i arranged it...and my father goes arnd stressing me n bossing me arnd... n now this...no one except my fren's dad appreciated the amount of effort i had been putting to make this a successful function...y r people making use of me n jus humiliate me...

this isn't right...!!!

i can't hit him back...but im not tt kinda person...but my own mother laughed at wat had happened instead of confronting him for doing such a humiliating thing...somemore in public!!!
i jus wished there was someone who be out there to listen to the hurt in me...n make me feel cooled..

hunnie, where r u wen i really need u???