true love...

its difficult how true love successeds after going thru rocky paths of problems and sometimes even short seperations. sometimes there are even loves which go thru a cleared path, so clear that every minute you see them, their always smiling for everything. but some love stories jus end before they even reach the half way mark, breakups and stuff. some are too complicated to unserstand, confusinf life.
but till now some people still don't understand what a gd relationship means. if ur in a relationship, and half the time ur admiring her body, thats not true love. admiring her character, the way she speaks, with so much life and love, sometimes in upset, now thats called true love.
girls these days have learned to choose whom they really like, but some don't know how to behave. they treat their partner like maids, making them carry her stuff,sometimes even treating him like trash, throwing him away for a betta guy. some girls are plain fickle and childish and its not easy to change them at all.
in my experience, my 1st love really sucked to the core...in the beginning everything seemed very smooth. but afta 3 months, she would talk about her ex wen i said don't, she would scold me if i never told her where i went, she would suspect me for talking to girls whom i treat as my closest frens, she would have problems of her own at home and wen i tried to comfort her, she would just vent so much anger on me, but wats worst is that she would say she wanna break up and she will make me beg her even until the point of touching her feet (its an indian way of begging), and afta a few days she would be ok, once she said she had a new gu and that she love him alot and she wan me to go with another girl saying that she'd feel guilty if i were to be alone, but when i went with another girl and avoided her callsand messages, she then said that she love me and was jus testing my love. like what the hell!!! this ain't fair at all...
well i don't care about my ex at all..i'm happy with my bubu!!
so girls, behave properly to guys, and guys, don't give up in love at all
smilez

together forever...

i feel i'm in need, for a smile...to giv me a confidence that you're here...

i need your hands to hold me and guide me thru my darkest passages...

i wanna keep a distance with u to once again miss u...the pain that you're not beside made me tear..but that feeling dug into my well of love...that i found the pure waters of love in the end...

hurting you is like poking my 2 eyes...and wen u tear it would only make me bleed...

to keep you as happy as a princess would not be the easiest thing in this world...but making you smile everyday would be the greatest achivement in my small life..

baby i'm not gonna let u go no matter what happens...i'm not gonna say your my life...cos life equals to you plus me. you may not be the hottest or the most beautiful girl i might have ever seen...but that smile of yours is the best in this tiny planet...
you're my confidence, my milo, my diesel....i live by your love, baby lets make this world tell that we're the best..i know i have chosen the right person to be with...

cos i'm in love with you

hunnie its true...

ily berrygal...

hahaha

its 1.10am and i'm like wide awake blogging haha..and its so rare to get a connection in the hall and so yea...i was busy studying till abt 12.30 i guess...and i kinda felt bored i started making a video of my group...well i did create 1 video a year back but well the project never worked...this time i intend to make our group anniversery as big as possible...haha...my group has grown up from a group of jus 8 and a half of us (ps* the half is a small boy) to a 19 men strong group in just 2 and half yrs is like a big achievement in my oppinion...well we not aim to be the best urumi melam in s'pore...but also the longest surviving urumi melam...cos its not the way you sound but its about how of experience you have....and the experience really helped us in building till we managed to imerge champions by the 2nd urumi competiton held in singapore....and our friendshiphas lasted us for such a long time that we ave to have something to remind us of how we came together....i'm almost done with my video and i'm gonna slp now...haha

gd nite world!!!

1.20am

shes mine!!

i hope for the bettter in my future with the best girl in my life...and well she has kept up and above the expectation i hav on her...but the day which came wen i had to decide if it was her for sure....
that mrng i wen to meet my ex...she said she wanted to study...but we ended up in a fight, she nearly wanted to end her life...well i knew it was coming and somehow managed to avoid it...anyway who cares...
i walked to my boo's place...felt damn tired carrying my load, and den wen i reached her house...she jus gav me the 'can't be bothered' look...no hug, no kiss...i so knew tt something was wrong...i sat at the hall...she got food n water for me and she jus went into the room...i was like..walau...this is how u treat me arhh???....den she called me to come inside the room...i ate my food and she jus played on the com..not saying anything much...and den she took my plate and left the room...dots to dots...she was washing the plate and i kinda jus huged her from the back to see her reaction...well she was angry inside..cos i went to see my ex...but once i held her...her mind changed..
she said its warm...lets go in to my room..and den i jus entered...damn cold and dark...she kinda lyed on one side of the bed...and i was on one side...i started bullying her wen she said she dun friend my pooh...so i jus held pooh tightly...she beg so much but i didn't budge...she jus had to lick my ear and i gave up...and den we moved to her bed on the grnd...she lyed on my chest like a baby..choo cute...and den she asked....baby, i wan u to treat me like ur my wife now....
she had to ask...and the song i put on my mobile turned the heat on....and we kinda moved into the sensual side of love...not moving to the extreme...we knew our limitss....she felt so loved..kissing, scratching...but a small set back tt she didn't get to bite me...well she had left one bite for everyone to see and so i thought maybe she can bite another day...she layed on my chest, listening to my heart...she didn't feel cold, sharing the heat with me...she asked..baby, u won't leave me right???....i jus said...could u jus shut up, bloody baby...and we jus laughed...it was so much of love at that point of time that we didn't wanna leave...
but we had to...time was running...and den baby gave a cuppa ice cream...and she asked...u know its nice to kiss with ice cream...and i jus kissed with it...hahha...den she was telling me about her past life...so much of fun to listen to each other..and den...it was time to go...well
i den told myself....this girl will surely take gd care of me till my life ends...why should i bother about what people have to say about us...my friends accept her...and sooner or later my parents...i'm counting my days to wed this girl...her name is....
wil tell you soon...
until then...
chocoboy lives for berrygal
chcocboy loves berrygal
and chocoboy promises to berrygal
so berrygal is chocoboy's private property
hehehe

Valentine's Day!

this is my 1st perfect vday...i so damn enjoyed it..
well this morning was waiting for my baby to tell me the plan...but the pig never even call and tell me wat was hapening till around 12 plus..i got so pissed that i thought my day was screwed..den she msg me asking me to meet up with ravi and meet her...so i did...but wen i was alreadi completly ready jeenu was still in his stupid baniyan..naathaari....den siva jus woke up...dots to dots..jeenu and i left 1st to meet my baby and her sis...somehow they were late so me and jeenu wen around bugis till we reached waterloo jus to find blue roses...but too bad i failed...den jeenu said...dey lets wash eye till the girls come, later cannot c...jeenu jeenu!!! never change...hahah so we went site seeing and we bumped into 2 of baby's frens...well i didn't expect to see them smile at me...and again dots to dots..and again we bumped into them, at the busstop, this time we were waiting for baby to arrive...but wat ravi saw, made me and him shy and a lil angry...a whole gang of gals jus walking across the road...and boo was one of them...i was like....walau!!! its god daMN VALENTINE'S DAY!!! and den we jus decided that its not our day to be alone...but afta awhile, i didn't realise i was actually holding baby back jus to hint to the others that it was my day with her...and yea...i did show love to her infront of the others... wew went for shiesha...my 1st experience...well blade and mafia also came down and coincedently almost the rest of the gang came...well...
afta awhile.. me and boo wen for a stroll down haji lane...well it was still bright but we could feel the night life almost starting...and wat caught our eyes most was this gorgeous blue wedding gown...it was simply marvelous...like a fairytale dress...imagining my boo in it, we walked back to the shiesha stall...up the stalll there was this dark area and well u knw its curiosity....we jus went up and...we jus...showed our love....sharing the most sensual kisses, and the tightest of hugs....
our game was almost over when we saw small almost in the process in making out wit his sayang, and we had to barge in, and he was like OMFG!!! well afta awhile baby had to leave...i carried her down the stall...heheh
and den the rest of the guys continued...SHIESHA!!!! HEHE
and afta we were done.... we went walking... from arab st to lil india...accidently bumping into dad...lol...and den back to our port...(cannot reveal)...well someone had to get into some kinda situation and we had to help... big D had to drop his phone into the river and we wen to help...well it failed and we jus wen back to stadium...no loss for us...hahaha. and den the boys had a bright idea..tug-of-war...hahaha we played till abt 11.30...damn fun...hahaha and den the police had to enter the scene...we tot we were gonners...but it ended up he teaching us to play it the right way...lol...till abt 11.45..and den they jus left...and we had to disperse...well i dunno where the rest went but i went home....and den slowly the rest of the family came
11.55 mylil sis entered, drunk
12.05 my mom entered, nagging
12.30 my dad entered, drunk and noisy...
and that was the end of my valentine's day....great eh heheh

Thaipusam (part2)

afta prayers at home, left to thiban house with my family. boss drove us back...den wen i reach there, half the group wasn't there yet..!!! i was like WTH!!! then thinking of my tiredness i jus fell asleep outside the house..1 by 1 each person entered the house...atleast if they jus entered i wouldn't have mind it..but they had to wake me again and again jus to say a hello...CAN I GET SOME SLEEP HERE??? too bad...i lost it by the time the 3rd person came...slowly everything had been prepared and we left...went to teddy bear's house for a quick lunch and into the temple...jus before starting...i prayed...today we must sound the best out of all and we must not cockup, most importantly, baby must hear me sing....by the time my 2nd song i saw baby.....huppppaa!!! finally!!! and den my day continued with this happiness....was very happy with our performance...our 2nd booking was short...i jus sang 2 songs...and the kavadi bearer ended up leaving the temple in trance!!! woohoo!!!
den we wanted to play inside the weding halll thinking that we should challenge other groups...scarlly harvin come shouting at us to go to the main sanctum to play wen we were not supposed to...but wat to do, we wen and jus played tunes...and then we left te temple...
leaving the temple i saw 2 pweety babes in sari...well they were awfully tall so i din reali bother...but wat shocked me wen i pass them was their voices...i turned back to look...OMG!!! it was sandra!!! fish!!! and i was like bang bang on the wall!!! walau
slacking outside till about 7 plus we got a call, come to dhoby gaut...we left in our lorry..
dhoby gaut...
port of the indian community...
watching free dance show...
lol
we prepared ourself jus b4 the kavadi came....looking like malaysian musicians...hahaha
us and our thalappaa...singing, enjoying,dancing, hiding our instruments, people were looking at us like we were aliens...the stupids stares..some sweet smiles, some singing mouths...
all the way to tank road this happened...
jus before the entrance....everyone lined on the steps...ready for our stunt....the crowd curiosly and anxously waiting....
SRI VEAPPAMMAKALI URUMI MELATHUKKU! JAI!
VETRI VEL MURUGANUKKU!! AROOGARAAA!!!
and we started blasting...wen my bro released the banner...some idiotic fellow pulled him from the top...luckily he never fell...the guy drag him to the office while we were playing and playing...den awhile later was singing a song and the same guy shouted at me....wat is the meaning of this?? are you playing for the god in the temple or are you playing for them??? and i was like...who the fuck are you man??? look...he held my collor...i got angry for a minute and held both his arms...automatically he let go of me...i told him, we are playing for the person who ask us to play...the god inside the temple never say that i must only sing his song...there are so many other gods in this world...i do wat the people who book me ask me to do...if u have a dispute with me, we shall settle later, if u want to stop me from doing my job, i will leave it to the god inside to decide wat to do wit u...the guy turned pale and walked away...happily i singing and enjoy myself....i wonder if baby was around to see this...and den again we had a 2nd booking at tank road..we played till the tent where they remove the piercing...wen the people were removing one kavadi bearer's hooks, we were playing a fast song...the guy literally pushed everyone aside and started dancing...hahah
totally this day was quite the memorable thaipusam i had..and the 1st time i got into a fight with an official..hahah
i'm happy...
my boys are happy
the public is happy
god is also happy
tts wat i want...=)

thaipusam (part 1)

it seems like jus yesterday

thaipusam was like damn freaking fast... from 7 feb, night prayers, the nex morning we went to see the chariot procession...wah my murgan was realli hot man..haha...we went to tank rd from there moving to south bridge and then to line road...afta the procession we wen to tekka to collect all our flowers and stuff afta which we wen to collect our lorry for the nex day and den going home to prepare...the process continued till we reached temple...it seemed there was a big crowd outside temple and we couldn't go in cos of the milkpot devotees, so we waited outside, lucky my bro was outside waiting wit his chariot..things running in my mind...how am i gonna do my duty well...wat if i saw boo...how would i feel...and den she came...i was jammed for a sec...but i tried to ignore her as much cos my dad was around...seeing her...my frens ask me talk to her...i was like, shut up idiots, appa still here...well awhile later she talked to me for awhile and gav me a packet milk to giv my sis
entering the temple awhile later...we were shocked to c the emptiness in the morning compared to previous years, it would be jam packed...and than the usual rituals and prayers, poking singing...and den we left the temple..my heart started to shiver...i was hoping, i should never make a mistake. and den we started singing and dancing...but uncle was like rushing for awhile.probably the hooks on the thigh were killing him...and den reaching komalas...a random man, a fren of my dad started singing slowly...my uncle stopped walking and started dancing slowly,i was like, wth!!! i'm singing like a non-stop radio but here he is dancing for another guy's song...
afta that we continued....reaching dhoby gaut... they had changed the lanes and i was like how are we gonna pass...suddenly my uncle took the old path pushing the TP away...i was stunned...from a distance a chinese volunteer was kneeling down and crying and praying at the sight of the chariot...my uncle stoped infront of her and gav her a fruit from the murugan..how sweet..
walking towards tank road...critical part of the journey...my family members were begining to get into trance...and i wasn't able to do a shit abt it...i was like...nex time i'm not gonna come if people were gonna do this...even my dad was doing it...wa...hopefully we reached the sanctum safely except tt my sis fainted rite infront of the temple...and her milk pot fell...luckily an unknown boy, believed to be the physique of the old man inside the temple was the one who caught it b4 it fell...
one thing i noticed...boo's milk packet was tied to my pouch!! i din realise it till i reach the sanctum, with a satisfaction tt i did it for my darling, i gav it to the priest to bath the god, and they actually did the bathing for me to see wen i tot they were gonna poor into buckets....
and den i wen home with the guys
one more prayers and 1st duty was over...i a satisfied

thaipusam

guys and girls

its a very awkward wen she says all the nicest things that makes u feel that she loves u wen she doesn't know if she loves u or not.
its hard to understand a girl, really, especially when she is confused, you'll get more confused.
earning a girls love is actually tough, she could say she loves you, but at the begining itself, she'll test how much u love her. and wen it does happen, who ever the guy is, he would surely try as hard to be the sweetest thing in the universe. mistakes are made, especially guys, most guys don't admit, instead looking for someone who would shut their mouth for what ever he does, or maybe being the same useless type as the guy. but there are some who'de really have a tough time trying to earn back the love they have for their girl, cos it hurts when you have to leave someone for a silly mistake which you can change for. PATIENCE...it helps alot..waiting for her no matter what happens. thinking of her well being when she ain't around, imagining and day dreaming about the future that you're gonna have with her...its a sweet feeling.. but its hard to undertake. and sometimes its very painful when she hits him with the worst words and feelings that sometimes he does have to give up...maybe itsnot just giving up the love, but also giving up the life...some girls would be the type who would be so choosey for the best guy in this world when what love means is that it comes from inside the heart..really deep down...but there also some who wouold want to leave for the sake that they're giving up their love, be it, for someone else or for a better future, or plainly they just don't wanna love....

its an irony guys are evil but there are nice guys with an evil inside, well...girls should giv in to certain guys cos sometimes these guys are worthy of loving...some of these guys may think that they aren't just because girls wanna leave them, they should think again, they are worthy, it depends on the girl, is she willing to accpet his love or not....

some girls expect lots from their guys, well some even ask, wat can u do for me if i were to be with u...well some guys would say, i can buy you this and that, i will die for u...has anyone said that they will stand beside no matter wat happens??? i doubt so...well if he said that, then he's the real guy.
one thing that i learnt. true love comes from your family and ur beat friend..its true...i did get it. but unfortunately...shes confused right now...i dun wish to confuse her more

guys, its betta to love the one you are with fully then to love someone for the sake that she has something u need...its betta to be not loved....and girls, trust in the guy u have, they will be there to support u...but dun hurt them....it really hurts!!

chocoboy misses u!!

i miss u

i wish i could see u

i know i'm not strong but

i could hold u tight in my arms

i'm broken in the wallet and pockets but

i could get u some roses to make ur day bright

i'm tearing every minute but

i know i could smile wenever i see ur mesmering beauty

i wonder where u went

i wonder how u r

i know its just the blue sky on my mind

but all that i can see is ur love

i'm turning my head up, down and around

expecting to see u wen i pass around

well the nex few days u will see an empty road

where i used to walk

but i'll be back

once i'm done with my duties

i'm hoping to smile

i'm hoping to cry

the nex time i c u

it'll blow my mind

for how much i missed ur endless love

how i wish i could take u to the top of the mountain

to shout out loud

that you're my wife

and the mountains would chant back

to let u hear how much i love u

this is true

i'm waiting for u

be mine......

are you acting biii????

pic from deviantart.
it hurts deep inside wen a girl tells a guy tt she wants to leave him....it happens
but it hurts more wen she gets back and says tt she was jus doing it for the sadness the guy is in....
sob sob...

went to meet her yesterday...
well
thinking that it wil be the last time...i jus felt like the sickest idiot, so damn emo.
slping on the bench, walking around the park, tearing on the pond...
it hurt...
den, she came...late...well her 6+ was actually jus b4 7...haix...i knew guys would always do tt...
she sat at a distance...expected...well i was in fury...anytime could blast...so i jus talk to her in a tone i never felt i would have had ever...
afta awhile of talking...she sat beside, asked, can talk anot??
i said, ur wish, she held my hand and said sori...i jus turned away...thinking..is this for real???
i didn't expect a sorry.
and den i jus...turned happy a lil...only to end up hugging her like i always did...it felt so much betta....MUCH BETTTER!!!
playing with her around the pondo, shouting at the lizards, holding her hand and walking down the park. talking ...errr...its a lil crappy...but yea...and most importantly, tickling!!! i love to tickle the hell out of her....jus to see her wierdest reactions...
and den wen our ways, me...back hm...she...popular..

den she called and said sorry..wel it felt better afta she actually meant it....

today, well talking to her normally in the morning...and den...gone to class...and awhile ltr i went to look up her blog....its damn classy...u gotta see...she had a new entry today..
excited on wat she would have written i started reading slowly....slowly my face turned black..well if u know wat i mean...one sentenced...struck him hard down there....

"she reeli wanted to end everything, she jus told tt for the sake of making him happy!!!"

i mean...y?? if u wanted u could have told me off...but y do this....it realli hurts....i was and am still hurt...
all im left now is wit tears...pain in ur words....y r u hurting me this much...don't u really want me..didn't u hear my heart crying inside....

kaayam konda ithayam, athu kuzhanthai pola,
vaayai moodi azhumae, solla vaarthai illai...
bii...pls...don't go....pls..a plead..frm this loving sole...
sobsob
u might now knw y i ended with the cos.... in our convo...im in tears

i dunno if my anger is reasonable
i dunno y i did all this
i'm telling u i'm going mad without u.
i dunno how to write a song with pain, but i can't stop singing about u,
i tried scolding myself, my heart doesn't want to change, it doesn't wan me to leave u
u may not know the pain i feel, it is so damn real,
throwing u or burying u deep down inside, feels much as if i'm killing myself.
my tears will fade, in the rays of ur smile, the happiness that i get from ur comfort is something fruitful in my life
i'm shadowless, dn't u know tt ur my shadow, who would follow me where ever i go, watching on my every action.
i could go without food for days, cos my hunger lyes on the love u would show me...
baby i love u so much, i need u back with me...
u'll have me suicidal if u say its over...

a small note that i could think of juss to u....deep inside, this is my commandment----chocoboy will never leave berrygal...sobsobsob

ChocoboY giving up???(part3)

chocoboy was talking to his boo online...
but she started it 1st...
well she said not to plan anything for v day...
autimatically it hit on my head, something is wrong...i starightaway said....oh u going out wit ur new bf....well from then a long convo...more of a quarrel...she never understand how much i love her...i really wan her but she pushing me back to my ex...it realli hurts...so wat if i gt a god damn kid????the oni thing she will go thru is hurt bcos i hate my ex....i wan my booo....!!!!i badly miss her
i luv her
i can't live without her
i need her badly
aiyooooo
i can't stand it
i'm going mad!!!
argh

ChocoboY giving up???(part2)

a mistake,
a misunderstanding,
a misconception,

chocoboy had done something to hurt berrygal's feelings...
true...
but still berry gal did hav some love for him, for what he knew...

when he wen to meet her once afta skool, he was really frustrated, how could you not tell me that you're meeting my frens??
dun say its a last minute thing, whats the phone for?
he wanted to forget about it, for love's sake, he tried he best to control, even said he wasn't mad at her, though it came out once inawhile...
but when berrygal left she said something hurting, well maybe he might have heard it wrongly
go, go, your girlfriend waiting for u!!

for peet's sake....she ain't my gf or wife!!! thats wat his heart said...

afta that....at night he called her to say that her fren was on tv...she sounded damn freaking dull
he wanted to know her feelings...so he asked what the problem was...
ntn, fite at hm..
he replied her, bi y u fite for ma...keep cool...
she replied, dun call me bi la...i will fite for all i want....how hrting could that have been...broken, he cried, cried and cried...but not a single sound came out of his mouth, not 1....in the end, all he said was, im sorri bi.....


nex morning..presentation day...yayayay!!!
dress up, look like some business man, he wanted to show her how he looked...he always wondered on his own, is this me?? im not the handsomest guy in this planet den y am i admiring myself?? formoment he felt damn gay....lolx
on the way with his mom to somewhere out, he msg...hey is ur mom hm? do u wana meet me awhile? i'm at ... den she replied, im out...
he jus thought to himself...wats wrong?? wat did i do?? y is she like avoiding me this much??
aww well, shes in her path, so he didn't want to be a pest to her...he jus kept to himself...

at skool, he met jean danker, OMG she was damn hot in a purple formal tube, he again wondered, i always had a dreamsofmy baby dressing up well coming out with me, would she like dress up like this for me atleast once....

guys have alot of dreams wen they get a girl but it jus so happens that girls sometimes would want to be the simplest of all...well my boo , even without makeup is the beautifullest of everything in my eyes...i wonder how she captured this heart of mine....

chocoboy misss berrygirll tonnes and tonness.....

a guilt inside.....

like a rose wilting and dying that i hav turned ur heart into
i trampled over the most fragile part of ur body, and u thought i didn't know it.

you thought i felt the same as you, smiling at you, holding you by your side, standing up for you.
i did lift your spirit...

maybe its the 1st time someone did it for you, you felt beautiful inside cos i made you feel that way...
never have i wanted to betray you or leave your side..

but reality hit you...am i the same as others? or is it just me? who am i to blame? jus the plain old me...

lifting the weights in your heart is something special that i would do for you...but being the biggest weight for you will be the largest guilt inside of me, sorry that i betrayed you.....

i'm sorry....lovess...sobsss...

a song....

unn nenjamae

yen sonthamae,

ondraai saernthu

vaazhnthirupom.

thanimayilae

naan azhugindrain

thunai ondru

illaamalae.....

vaanathilae pala nathchathirangal

angu aayiram jolikindrana....

manam naada oru oli illaiyae

yen vaazhkaiyum jolikalayae

tpy vattaarathil oruthiyai naan kandaen

parikoduthain naan parikoduthain

yen manathai parikoduthain

yen kanmaniyae

i love you

yen kaathaliyae

i need you

nee manathai tharuvaayaa

illai maraithu povaayaaa....

shame on me!!!

how could i have suspected u?? did i??? all i wanted was to speak with you but the way i did it was totally an unforgivable way...well now i'm a cheat, a untrustable person, a basturd, a CB!!
i wanted to be a clear route to ur path, but now i've become an obstacle. i dunno who u love, wat u want, where u wish to go, i'll leave u in ur own way and be standing in a corner, watching u move away, or maybe moving on....i feel ashamed of myself.
wat hav i done under the name of love...never hav i done for u anything...but now my true colour, i guess, has shown itself...i'm pure evil, i'm not a good person, i don't deserve to be loved, i dunno...this is how i feel about myself, i dunno if u still do love me but, wat i have done can never be forgiven...and even if it was...it will never be forgetten...thats how much i have affected your life...if u really think u want me..i'll be here, if u don't then its ur wish, who u want to choose...after all u have done things that even i don't and u made those choices on ur own accord, who am i to interfere in your choices...afterall, its your life....sob sob...i'm sorry..so lonely..mr.lonely...i have no body, to call my own....