well it hass been a long time...since i blogged...
many things happened...my ex, HER, my family and friends
start with my ex 1st,
she wants a maintance, she doesn't want me, but shes been going around talking to my friends to try to get me back to her, she used her so-called aunt to threaten my girl to leave me, she tortured me previously by blackmailing over the phone, n yet she msges me that she wants to continue to be a GOOD FRIEND to me...
why is she so fickle-minded??? i don't know..she really spoiled my life, she spoiled my reputation, i lost some of my best friends, my parents nearly abandoned me...why???
now about HER,
i've got alot to say here...
wel for the past few weeks, haven't been speaking to her well, stressed over my ex, and also angry sometimes about the things she says and does, i dunno if she really does love me, she put on her blog that i m onli claiming that i love her, which means shes meaning that i'm acting, isn't it?? everytime she fell sick, i cried to my alter, why is she falling so sick, pls takecare of her...but there she is thinking that im nt caring....yes, sometimes im speaking like i'm not bothered...but no one knows whats hapening to me...sometimes i really dunno y but my mood swings are so bad i jus tend to show it to her in other ways....i wen out once with my godsis without telling her once, its my fault, i shud hav told, but y suspet me,....i dedicated once to my godsis a song on her fb...for that also she suspected...was tt wrng...she wrote on her fb,"he's interested in another girl, seems he is"....why was that so??? if someone did see, wat would they have thought of me?? playboy?? timer?? she went out with her godbro and fren for a movie which she promised me weeks before to go for....end up i never went for it...i seriously had no mood, why promise me in the 1st place? and if she really did love me, why did she not ask her whoever to watch another movie instead?? it shows how much importance and influence they have in her life more than i do... after all i came after them...obviously theres lesser importance.for me....this is not all, i go down for cycling and its wrong if i didn't tell her, well she doesn't tell all the time if she were going down,...but i jus started my cycling regime so it didn't sem so important, but for that she complained...yes, sometimes i am revengeful but i don't test love, last night she did...she said gd nite...and i also replied gd nite, thinking she might be a lil angry with me...so i tot let her msg me properly in the mrng..but wat happened was that she msg me saying that she was checking if i said 'i love u' in my msg to her, n tt she purposely didn't say it...y???y test my love like this???i cried....!!! i cried so much, it was jus the same feeling that my ex gave me wen she said she acted that she was with another guy, when she really was(eventually i found out)...y is it that im at fault, and she takes the blame and im made to feel guilty, or on the other hand, tested if my love was true or not??? am i supposed to like giv my llife to shw my love?? or leave everything just for her??? i seriosuly dunno!!!
nw for my family...
they hurt me, remind me of my past, at the same time encourage me to study welll, support me needs nw and then...why are they also fickle minded??? my sista is neva a gd person tho trust...shes onli 16 and she has 6 ex-bfs....like WTH!! and wen i ask her she jus tells me on my face that im no betta than her for me to advice her...im like so pissed...and i just don't knw wat to do abt all this...
my friends....wel one by one...they have seperated....left are my boys.. of them are away...the rest....i guess they're suporting my ex...i dunno who to trust as a gd frend..to share my hurt..to cry my pain out..
i began this blog as heroes of life, thinking im also a hero...but i guess im jus a woos...haix
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